Today’s Gender of the Day is: Automatic Doop
nail polish on fingernails: 2 days
nail polish on toenails: 200 years. ur ghost will have glittery toes. ur descendants will come out of the womb w/ revlon 791 midnight affair perfectly applied. infinite
I JUST UGLY LAUGHED SO HARD I WOKE UP THE DAMN HOUSE JFC!!!
HOLY FUCKK DO NOT CLICK THIS IF YOU NEED TO BE QUIET
my anaconda don’t want none
unless you DEFEAT THE HUNS, SON
HOW LONG IT TAKES TO READ THE WORLD’S MOST POPULAR BOOKS: http://shortlist.com/entertainment/books/how-long-it-takes-to-read-the-worlds-most-popular-books
My brain likes this like this.
This is almost too good.
I gotta go, I have some reading to do.
things that will instantly improve any movie:
- bickering scientists
how about bickering lesbian scientists that build robots to fight dragons
Pacific Rim was so close.
A Somali student, on what has surprised her most about the United States. (via africandogontheprairie)
I am finished.
My typical school day
As a teacher, I wish one of my students would say this. I would die laughing and then remember I’m supposed to be the adult in the room.
WHY IS THIS TINY CHILD FUNNIER THAN ME
"hello baby, my name is Oliver Queen, for five years i was stranded on an island—no, baby, don’t cry! i’ll tell a different story, look, i’m pretending to eat your foot! not really, though, i would never eat a baby, oh— i— appear to have done this wrong… Felicity!"
THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A MORE IMPORTANT VIDEO ON THE INTERNET EVER